Peter Robert Shingleton

Peter was tragically taken from us on the 19th July 1991 as the result of a road accident, aged 15yrs.

The only Son of Peter and Elizabeth, Brother of Clare, Danielle and Rachel, Grandson, Nephew, Cousin and Friend to many.

Peter was always the joker he loved to clown around and constantly wore a mischievous "It wasn't me!" smile on his face!


♥ "Everything I do, I do it for you!" ♥


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To my Brother Peter

I often sit here and try to picture how you'd be if you were still here with us now Peter, almost 17 years after you were taken away from us.
You'd be 32 years old now... A grown man!
What would he have looked like?
Would he have ever got married?
Would he have had children of his own?
What type of job would he have had?
These are the questions that I always find myself asking but I shouldn't be sitting here trying to 'picture' you and I shouldn't be trying to imagine how I think your life would have turned out because you should still be here with us now and I should know!
Of all the millions and millions of people in the world that God could have taken that day, why did he have to take you?
Why did he have to take my Brother?
Only God himself can answer that question I guess but I know one thing for sure and it's that he messed up big time when he took you away from us Peter... He took the wrong person and he knows it too!

Like most Brothers and Sisters we could fight like cat and dog sometimes.
I was the annoying Sister that used to get great pleasure from finding out that you were doing something you weren't suppose to be doing and I would 'use' it to my advantage and 'bribe' you.
I remember when I caught you smoking with your friends in the allotments near our house, I 'bribed' you for weeks with that one.
Any little thing you did that wasn't to my liking and I would shout "Mummmmmm... I've got something to tell you...!" Geez I was such a little cow wasn't I? ha
I remember once when we were arguing over something or other and you called me every swear word that ever existed not knowing that I had been secretly recording you... You so knew that you were in for weeks of my 'bribes' when I sat and played everything back to you! ha
My little finger is still bent over crooked from that time when I punched you in temper not knowing that you had a bloomin' golf ball in your pocket and broke it... You thought that was hilarious, you laughed about it for weeks afterwards, telling me it had served me right and that I'd better think twice before hitting you again! ha
We could fight, argue and call each other horrid names but noone else was allowed to and if they did then the other was always right there in the others defence!
When Dad worked on the ice-cream he would bring every different ice-cream and ice-lolly there ever was home for us, our freezer was always jam packed full with them, you had your own little money making scheme going on where you'd take them to school and sell them to your friends, that was something else I added to my 'bribe' list as soon as I found out! ha
No matter what had gone on throughout the day though, no matter how many arguements or fights we had we always had that silly bedtime ritual where as we both HAD to say "Good-Night" to each other before either of us would go to sleep.
If you were giving me the silent treatment I would just sit there shouting "Good-Night, Good-Night, Good-Night, Good-Night," over and over untill you would finally give in and say it back to me, you would do exactly the same if I was the one that was sulking... Neither of us would get any sleep untill we had both wished each other "Good-Night!" ha

I remember the very last time I saw you Peter, it was the 19th July 1991, Mum's Birthday and just a few hours before the accident that took you away from us forever.
I had been shopping with my friend and we'd bumped into you at the bus stop on our way home. You had one of those 'twist and squeeze' drinks and when I asked you for a bit you pretended not to hear me and made sure you drank every last drop of it before laughing and saying "oooops, sorry, I didn't hear ya!" I stomped off muttering all sorts at you, then still laughing you threw me a can of coke and said "Here... Ya moany ar$e, have this!" ha
You joked about how you wasn't going to pay to get on the bus, that you were going to just 'hitch' a free ride by jumping on and holding onto the back of it! (just another one of your daft jokes but would you believe that some fools actually do that now! Crazy eh? ha)
Our buses came at the same time, mine to take me home and yours to take you to Nanna's house, as we walked off in opposite directions you waved and shouted "See ya later!"
I remember sitting on the bus holding that empty can of coke and thinking to myself 'I should keep this can, my Brother gave it to me!' How weird is that?
It was a real strange feeling, one that I could never explain but after a few minutes I brushed it off and told myself not to be so stupid before throwing it away!
Little did I know that just 2 hours after seeing you at that bus stop, just 2 hours after having that strange feeling that I should keep that can you had given me as some kind of a memento that my life was going to change forever!
Once I got home I went round to my friends house, I came back in a few hours later to find the back door open and the house empty, it wasn't like Mum to go out without letting us know so straight away I knew something wasn't right!
I remember phoning Nanna to ask if she had heard from her, Uncle David answered and told me to get a taxi down there, he said Mum was there and that she had something to tell me, I thought he was joking about as he always does and kept telling him to stop messing around and to put Mum on the phone, he wouldn't and the sound of his voice told me something definatley wasn`t right... He wasn't joking about at all!
Whilst I waited for the taxi I remember just sitting there looking over at the picture of Nanna we had on the wall and saying "please god let her be ok, please god let her be ok!" over and over in my head, I was convinced something was wrong with Nanna, not for one minute did I think it was you Peter, afterall I`d seen you just a few hours earlier and you were fine so why would I?
When the taxi pulled up outside Nanna's house, some of her neighbours were stood at their gates, I remember thinking what a nosey bunch of sods they all were, none of them said anything, they just stood there.
I didn't know it back then but they obviously already knew what I was just about to find out!
As I walked up the path I could see Nanna sat in her chair through the window, I didn't really pay much attention as to who else was sat there, I was just so relieved that Nanna was ok!
As I walked inside the door Mum met me in the hallway, she hugged me and told me that there had been an accident, that you had died!
I just remember screaming "NO!"
I'd just seen you, I`d just been talking to you, it couldn't be true but then just one look around the room, the look on everyone`s faces told me it was... I can still remember that look on those faces Peter even to this day.
I later learnt that you and your friend, Paul had taken a 'short-cut' across the by-pass of the motorway, Paul had made it all the way across but not you, you were hit by a car and was killed instantly... You were just 15 years old Peter and you were gone!
I went back to stay with Auntie Di, Vanya and Victoria that night, I don't know who made that decision but I guess whoever it was just decided it was best for me to go stay there for a few days.
That night Vanya and I went to see one of her friends, I can remember being stood outside his house and Vanya writing 'Come back Peter' on the pavement with a stone, us both just standing there crying.
It didn't seem real... We just couldn't believe that you were gone!
Vanya and I sat up for hours that night talking about you, crying that you were gone... You and Vans were always really close, more like Brother and Sister than Cousins.
The week that followed is all a bit of a blur but I remember the night before your funeral, Vanya and I stayed with our Cathy, she helped us write the poems to you that we read out at your service in church.
The day of your funeral came and I remember everyone being at Nanna's house, her garden was full of flowers, I don't think I've ever seen so many flowers in one place before.
Amongst them there were two in the shape of footballs... One blue & white for Man City (the team you supported) and the other red & white for Man United (the rivals)
I don't know who bought you the Man United one but I hope they weren`t stood there watching when it went flying over the hedges with a little help from Uncle Stephen`s foot!!! ha
I can remember looking round at everyone that was stood there and laughing to myself thinking 'I wonder if any of this lot are going to tell him that what he had just kicked wasn't actually a REAL football but one made of flowers?' ha
I now know that was just his way of getting rid of some of his anger, some of his emotions, he was so angry, angry that you were gone!
You and Uncle Stephen were always real close, theres only a few years between you so you were more like his little Brother than his Nephew.
I remember the hearse pulling up and just standing there thinking 'my brother is in there!'
I think it was then that it actually hit me for the first time... You were gone and you wasn't ever coming back!
You wouldn't believe how many people turned up to say good-bye to you Peter, there were so many that not all of them could actually get inside the church, your family, your friends, your teachers from both high school and primary school, even people that hadn't seen you since you were real young were there, it looked like everyone that had ever knew you had come that day. There were hundreds of people and they were all there for one person.
You Peter... They were all there for you!
I remember standing at the front of the church with Vanya reading the poems we'd wrote for you, that was hard Peter... Really hard!
It was something we both wanted to do though, something we both wanted to do for you so we helped each other to get through it!
We had Bryan Adams - Everything I do, I do it for you played, the song that from then on became known as "Peter's Song" to everyone that knew you.

I remember going back to school after the summer holidays and I hated it!
You would have been in your last year... You should have been there too.
I remember walking into the canteen area and seeing a group of lads stood chatting, I couldn't hold back the tears when I realised that they were your frends... You should have been stood there with them.
Mr Caffery paid tribute to you in the assembly we had, every time he said your name my heart broke, he shouldn't have been talking ABOUT you Peter... He should have been talking TO you (probably telling you off for talking no doubt! ha)
It was all wrong... You should have been there!

In the years that followed I watched as Mum tried to cope with losing you, she put on a brave face for me and your sisters but I could see through it, I could see she was crying inside, underneath the brave face she wore for us was a face of sadness... A light had gone out!
A part of Mum died with you that day Peter and I could see it in her eyes.
I used to lay awake in bed, she didn't know I could hear her crying but I could.
It was on one of those nights that I lay there awake for hours that I realised just how much I hated God!
I hated him for all the pain he had caused, for tearing our family apart, I hated him because no matter how many times I told you "Good-Night" I would never again hear you say it back to me but most of all I hated him for what he`d done to our Mum.
All those nights I lay awake in bed listening to her crying, just lay there feeling useless because I knew that there was nothing I could say or do to take away her pain, I knew that you were the only one that could do that Peter and he had taken you from her... I hated him more than ever for that!
I used to lay there wishing God had taken me that day instead, you were her first born... Her only Son, why did he have to take her only son away?
There were 3 of us girls so he should have taken me instead... I hated him for that too!

Your name is always spoken Peter... Always!
On your birthday and at Christmas your cards are up on the mantle piece as they always were and on ours theres always a card there from you.
All our family Christmas cards that are sent from others have your name on, if they don't then they don`t go up with the rest!
You are as much a part of our family now as you were before you passed away, only now you live on in our hearts!

When I found out I was pregnant 6 years later I prayed I would have a boy for Mum, please don't think for one minute that I wanted a boy to replace you because I know that could never happen, it's just I felt that by having another boy in the house it might somehow fill just a small fraction of the gap that you left behind... I was wrong!
My Son was born in September 1997 but the gap left by you remained as big as it always was... Noone could ever fill that gap Peter, not even the smallest corner of it!
I named him Samuel Peter after his "Uncle Peter who lives in heaven"
It was only after Samuel was born, once I had a child of my own that I realised that Mum must be made of some real strong stuff to have been able to go on with life after losing you Peter, I remember I used to sit there and watch him sleeping and think to myself 'How on earth did she get through it... How?'
You were my brother and it broke my heart to lose you but for a woman to lose her child... For Mum to lose her Son, I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain of that, how could I?
I do know that losing you didn't just break Mum's heart Peter... It tore it up into millions of tiny pieces and those pieces can never be put back together!
As Samuel grew older we'd tell him all about his Uncle Peter, we'd tell him that you had gone to live in heaven with the angels but that you were watching over us all and keeping us safe always, at night we'd look up to the sky, we'd find the biggest, brightest star and tell him that it was his Uncle Peter`s star and it was twinkling to tell him "Good-Night!"
Danielle's little boy Peter was born 4 years later and 3 years after him followed Rachel's little girl, Heaven.
My daughter, Eden was born in June 2006 and Danielle's little boy Jack 6 months later.
We will make sure that your memory lives on in the hearts of your nephews and nieces too, Samuel and Peter already know all about you and Heaven points to your picture and says your name.
As soon as Eden and Jack are old enough we will make sure that they too know all about their Uncle Peter - The 'Guardian Angel' who keeps them safe always, I promise you that.
Almost 17 years have passed since we lost you Peter, that sounds like such a long time doesn't it?
It doesn't feel like it though... It still feels like yesterday!
Some say that "Time is a great healer" but I don't believe a word of it, I just think that with time we have all somehow learnt to live with the pain of losing you... I guess that pain has become a part of us in a way.
You may not be here with us but you are in our hearts and in the hearts of everyone that knew you always!
Keep watching over your family Peter and keep them safe always, especially Mum and Nanna (BBA)

Love and miss you forever and always
Your Sister Clare x x x x x x x x x x x x
(2nd February 2008)


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SONGS:

1. Bryan Adams - Everything I do, I do it for you. (aka Peter's Song)
We had this song played at Peter's funeral and since then it has always been know as "Peter's Song" by everyone that knew him!

2. Chesney Hawkes - I am the one and only.
When Peter was in 'trouble' once my Mum said to him "Who do you think you are Peter?" he replied singing the opening line to this song "I AM THE ONE AND ONLY!"
Whenever I hear this song I think of Peter standing there with that HUGE mischievous grin on his face, his arms spread wide apart singing "I am the one and only" that image always puts a smile on my face! :)

3. R Kelly - The World's Greatest.
If I had to choose one song that sums up my brother then it would have to be this one, quite simply because He truly is The World's Greatest!


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